Monday, January 20, 2014

Husband Wife Masala

###1
Santa 2 cigarette ek saath pee raha thaa.

Patni – “2 cigarette kyon peete ho ?”

Santa – “Dost kee yaad aati hai na … ek meri hoti hai aur ek mere dost kee… ”

Kuchh dino baad Santa ek hi cigarette peene laga.

Patni ne poochha – “Dost ko bhool gaye kya ?”

Santa – “Nahi Pagli, maine cigarette peena chhod diya hai … !!!”
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Difference between talent and god's gift:

A man can give lecture for 2 hrs on any subject
This is talent

A woman can give lecture for 2 hrs without any subject
This is god's gift
πŸ˜†
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Boy-hum 45 bhai behen hain.

Girl-kya..!! tumhare ghar popultion check karne wale nahi aaye the?

BOY-aaye the, hum padh rahe the woh coaching centre samajh kar chale gaye.πŸ˜€
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Filmi life aur Asli life me kya ANTAR hai?

Santa: Film me bahut mushkilo k baad shadi hoti hai.
Asli life me shadi ke baad bahut mushkil hoti hai.πŸ˜€

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Short & Sharp:

Wife: I hate you.

Husband: What a co-incidence.. πŸ˜‹
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 ###2
 
Husbands !!
Husbands !!
Husbands !!

If U advise them, they think U r dominating;
If U don't, U r not doing anything!πŸ˜›
If they call,they r missing U;
If U call,U r disturbing them!😫
If they ask U anything,its their right;
If U ask them,U r interfering!
If they care,they luv U;❤
If U care,U r possessiveπŸ™Ž
So difficult....hats off to all great wives!!!!!!😬
Enough of jokes on ladies. Now its time for some male bashing  (For a change).


Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up 

πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first? ✈
A: Who cares??? Just throw them


Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!  
πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: Dont know, havnt seen either 



Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business

πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? 
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving 


Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift? 
A: Exchange him!! 

πŸ’

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract! 

πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’
 
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Thursday, January 16, 2014

Best Slogans.....

Best Slogans.....


1. Sign on a railway station at Patna:
(Aana free, jaana free, pakde gaye to khaana free).

2. Sign on a famous beauty parlor in Mumbai:
(Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother).

3. Sign on a bulletin board:
(Success is relative,More the success, more the relatives).

4. Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Mumbai:
(We need your heads to run our business).

5. A traffic slogan:
(Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they never will be old).

6. THE BEST ONE BY INDIAN ARMED FORCES:
(Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations. It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them & God

“The Best Lines ever said by a Man....."

“The Best Lines ever said by a Man....."

When I was born, A Woman was there to hold me...... My Mother

As I grew up as a child, A woman was there to care & play with me..... My sister

I went to school, A Woman was there to help me learn...... My Teacher

I became depressed when I lost, A Woman was there to offer a shoulder...
My Girlfriend

I needed compatibility, company & Love, A Woman was there for me.. My Wife

I became tough, A Woman was there to melt me..... My Daughter

When I will die, A Woman will be there to absorb me in....... Motherland

If you are a Man, value every Woman...

&

If you are a Woman, feel proud to be one!